Once I coined a term about a friend – semi happy in her semi happy little world – but as time went on and years passed I realized that I had not even achieved that.

But now, some ten, fifteen years, after that remark I am proud to say that I have surpassed that mark. It took me a long time to find it but I have finally learnt to be happy.

It took a huge amount of shit to go wrong at once but, then again, if that shit hadn’t of happened I may not have changed my life to suit me. I may not have met my second wife and may be stuck in a loveless marriage where the only thing that kept me going was the love of my two boys.

I may not get to see them anymore but I do know, when the day comes, they will see that their Dad learnt to be happy and that it wasn’t their fault that I wasn’t happy before.

I miss my boys. I have accepted that (almost). But with the knowledge that they will come back to me I cope.

Finding that someone who has direct access to your heart exceeds all of my expectations about what being happy was like. I was almost 40 when I discovered this.

I do not have regrets about the changes I made and it is far better than regretting that I never lived a life. You see you can learn at any age.

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