Today is a contemplative day, looking at things I am used to and wondering when the next time that I see them will be. A day of what-ifs and whens. A day of being thankful for been given the chance. A day of believing that this is what is wanted of me.
There are stirrings, whispers, hushed conversations about this and that. Impacts of changes. What about this? What do we do about that? How? has been asked a lot as well. Then again, none of it matters until it happens.
I have finished my side of it now and all we can do is wait. But I am finding the waiting the hardest part. Do I do enough to make it happen? Will they like me enough to want me?
Have I done enough? That must be the question that reverberates around my brain most often. Is there something else I could have written that would have tipped the balance in our favour?
But then I have a moment of confidence and think it IS going to happen, and we will be on our way. It is a strange position to be in.
I am in one of my most optimistic moods for a long time. It is tinged with fear, excitement, and being more than a little scared at the entire change to what we know. But if we do not do it; do not give this every chance it deserves, are we going to look back years from now and wonder what it would have been like?